My brain says no but my pants say off.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
