So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
