Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
