I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
you would pick up someone in the library
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
