Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
