Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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