i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
