i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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