At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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