i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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