Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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