I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
