Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
