on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
