I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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