I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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