turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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