So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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