He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
