awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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