Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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