shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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