how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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