so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
