somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
