he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
can u get pink eye on your cock?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
