does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
