Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
