We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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