he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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