ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
