Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
