It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
