dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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