my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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