omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We got so high we made milksteak
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
