Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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