I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
