you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
