shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
