She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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