Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
