Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
