Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
