some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Randomize
