The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You can't just leave with hair like that
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
