She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
