actually, I'm a sock model
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
