Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
