U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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