it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
