I wanna passion pit in your ass
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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