It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
