how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
